Why some relationships end when a baby arrives

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Unrealistic expectations can ruin relationships

Why would two people who love each other have serious problems when a baby is born?
What could be the problem here?
Many relationships end shortly after a baby arrives even though previously those people were on very good terms. In this article i will explore some of the reasons that lead to problems after the arrival of a child.

The first cause of that problem is not expecting the kind of responsibility a person will have to carry when a baby is born. In my previous article Why love is not like in the movies i explained how so many people breakup when they discover that the relationships they got in are not like the expectations they had.

Some people assume that post marriage relationships are like the ones they see in the movies. They think that they will keep getting romantic dinners everyday and that the same level of passion their partners had at early stages will remain. This picture usually gets destroyed completely when a baby arrives.

When both partners fail to sleep at night for 1 one complete hour, when the baby's needs start increasing and when they find the serious responsibility they are in they sometimes breakup.

The problem here isn't with the baby but it's with the unrealistic expectations people had about child birth and relationships in general.

When the purpose of marriage is children

Many people get married just to have children. As some people find themselves getting old they wish to have a baby. The problem with relationships that start that way is that the main purpose of them is bringing a child and not finding someone who is fully compatible. See 10 signs you are marrying the wrong person.

Many people , who don't really have common any grounds, get married just because they want to have children. When the child arrives the one who wanted children the most might feel satisfied and stop giving attention to their spouse.

The other partner might realize that love is fading away and so problems might start to happen that eventually end the relationship. See also why romantic relationships are overrated.

Jealousy of the baby

As strange as it sounds it's a very true and common reason.
Children need very special attention when they are newly born. If one of the partners , usually the woman, gave more attention to the baby than their partner then the partner might experience jealousy.

Signs of jealousy can appear in the form of feeling ignored and not being cared for properly. While a person will hardly admit that fact they would still be feeling jealous of their own newborn.

As the jealousy leads to further problems and communication issues a breakup can eventually happen.

So what's the soloution?

The soloution to all of those problems is simple.
Just be prepared. Before you think of having a baby make sure that you are mentally and psychologically prepared for the challenges.

Once you think you are ready you can safely have a baby. You should also make sure that your partner is ready as well for if one of you was ready and the other wasn't the problems might still happen.

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