How to be in control of your life

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to be in control of your life

In order to be in control of your life you must first know about the outcome of the experiment that was done on some wild rats by one of the researchers.

A researcher brought some wild rats, ones that are known to be able to swim for 80 hours continuously, then frightened them before throwing them in water.

Many of the wild rats died after few minutes of swimming!! The rats didn’t drawn but at some point they just gave up swimming and died!!

When the rats felt in control they were able to swim for many hours but as soon as they felt that they are not in control they lost hope and drowned!!

Being in control of your life is an essential skill that you must learn in order not to give up and drown just like the rats did!

Loss of control, false beliefs and locus of control

People can be divided into two groups according to their beliefs, the first group believes that whatever happens to them is completely out of their control and usually relate the events they face to luck and to the unfairness of life.

The second group believes that they are responsible for whatever happens to them and that’s why they always keep trying even if something undesired happened. The first group are said to have an external locus of control while the second group are said to have internal locus of control.

The problem with having an external locus of control is that you will always have an excuse for not helping yourself and thus will always feel helpless. Some of the people who have external locus of control really believe that they are helpless while others prefer to lie to themselves in order not to hurt their egos.

After all it hurts less to say that life is unfair rather than to say I didn’t work hard enough. (see Lying to yourself).

One good example of external locus of control is believing that the only cause for depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how depending on medication to cure depression makes the person completely helpless as it gives him an excuse not to take actions and makes him believe that he is a victim of his genes.

Are we really in control?

The important question we must ask ourselves is, are we really in control?
The answer is that on the short term no one is in control but on the long term those who have an internal locus of control will always be in control.

Its now well known to everybody that all of those who succeeded in life didn’t manage to do it from the first attempt. Had those people believed that they were lacking control when they failed in the first few times they would have never become successful. (see I can't do it)

We can’t control what happens on the short term but if we kept trying, stood our ground and were patient enough we will reach what we want and become in control on the long term.

You might not be able to control what will happen today or tomorrow but having a clear long term plan, learning how to become resilient and developing a solid commitment will surely let you be in control of your life over the long term.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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