How birth order affects marriage and relationships

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How birth order affects marriage and relationships

Your birth order can affect your relationships, love life and marriage more than you could imagine. In a previous article i explained how birth order can affect a person's life as a result of the different experiences he goes through in his early childhood.

Some people think that establishing a successful marriage or a loving relationship is a simple task that doesn't involve getting into complex details but they are completely wrong. If you don't understand your own personality and your partner's personality then certainly your love life isn't going to fare well.

By understanding how the birth order of both you and your relationship partner affects your personalities you will be able to have a better relationship and a successful marriage.

Why does birth order affect marriage and relationship

As a result finding himself growing in different conditions each child develops a different personality traits based on his birth order. Because those children develop different view of the world and of relationships in turn each of them require a special way of handling in order to be be satisfied with his relationship.

The following are some examples that will show you how can birth order affect relationships:

  • The youngest child and relationships: The youngest child is usually a spoiled child who learned how to get everything he wants. As a result he might be very demanding when he gets into a relationship. The youngest child might also be impatient and unable to tolerate to wait until he gets what he wants. When the youngest child gets married he expects his relationship partner to take the same role of his primary caregiver or in other words he expects his partner to take care of him as if he is a child. This certainly affects the marriage because if the youngest child found that he is not getting the kind of treatment he used to get he will certainly become dissatisfied with the relationship
  • The Eldest child and relationships: The eldest child usually develops leadership and responsibility and that's one point that affects his marriage and relationships in a positive way. However as a result of being dethroned by a younger sibling some Eldest children grow up believing that someone is always going to be favored over them and this causes big problems in marriage because the eldest child always doubts that his partner is cheating on him or preferring something else to him.
  • The Middle child and marriage: Being the middle child sometimes affects the marriage in a negative way. Since the middle child found himself surrounded by an older sibling who is more capable than him and a younger one who gets most of the attention he might feel that he is unloved and so lack self esteem. When that happens the middle child might always believe that his relationship partner doesn't love him and this affects his relationships in a negative way

The effect of birth order on marriage can be changed

The Good news is that even if your relationship or marriage was affected because of your birth order you still can fix it.

In my article Can personality change i explained how all personality type theories including how birth order affects personality only describe the present stage that the personality has reached and not the final destination.

Even if your marriage was negatively affected by your birth order you can still change the underlying personality traits you developed that were responsible for these problems.

Dealing with your relationship partner based on his birth order

You must be intelligent enough to put the birth order of your relationship partner in mind when dealing with him.

For example if your wife was the eldest child then don't blame her if she kept accusing you of cheating often. Instead help her understand how her birth order affected her personality and how it might negatively affect your marriage.

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How birth order affects personality

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