Can personality change

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Can personality change?

It happens often that someone searches for an online personality test then ends up feeling bad because of thinking that the quiz results are facts that can't be changed.

In fact you can change your personality if you wanted to provided that you know the right way to do it.

I get many emails from people who wonder whether they can build self confidence or not because of believing that self confidence and similar good traits has something to do with their genes.

In my article do genes affect personality i explained that we don't inherit our personalities from our parents but we develop them as a result of the experiences we go through and thus there is a big room for change if you are serious about it.

So the short answer to the question is, yes personality can be changed.

To be able to change your personality you must understand it

Most people think that they understand themselves well while in fact many of the personality change attempts fail as a result of lack of self understanding.

A behavior that has been bothering you for years can be changed if you understood what's causing the behavior in the first place.

Lets take the example of the teen who smokes in order to feel like a man. Of course when you ask him why do you smoke he will never tell you i do it to feel more masculine because most probably he won't be aware of this fact.

Now if that teen tried hard to change his behavior using all possible methods he might never succeed until he finds another way to help himself satisfy the need to feel like a man.

In short,Our attempts to change our personalities will not work before we understand the underlying dynamics behind our behaviors and attitudes.

How to change your personality

Now lets focus on the practical part, here is how you can change your personality:

  • Get rid of limiting beliefs about change: Whether you believe that personality cannot be changed, that we inherit our personalities or that our genes limit us you must read more and educate yourself about these subjects so that you can get rid of such limiting beliefs
  • Understand the intention behind unwanted behavior: Before you can change your personality you need to understand the intention behind your unwanted behavior. lets suppose that you fear criticism and that you are over sensitive. Could be it be that you are afraid that people find out that you are less worthy than them as a result of your low self confidence? (just an example)
  • Fix the underlying reason: If the previous example was true then you can change your personality in such a case by building self esteem. After you do so you won't find yourself afraid of criticism anymore

In short your personality was learned as a result of the experiences you have been through. Whatever unwanted behavior you don't like now might be nothing more than a coping strategy your mind developed to help you achieve a certain goal.

Just like this coping strategy was developed it can also be unlearned. Of course it takes some time and a lot of persistence to change your personality but the good news is that you are able to change it.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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