Healing Emotional Wounds

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Are you Wounded?

Have you ever tried to put some water on a fresh wound? If you have tired then you must have felt some pain. Water, which can never harm you if you were not injured has just made you feel some pain when it touched your wound.

When we develop a wound we tend to become over sensitive to factors that didn't use to bother us before.

The same goes for emotional wounds: What if you have some emotional wounds that are making you over-sensitive to factors that other people don’t even notice?

All of these small things that are bothering you may be harmless on their own but they hurt you because they touch your wounds just like the water did.

Emotional Wounds and Emotional Pain

Why do you think you felt that bad when someone didn’t call you?
Is it because that person is bad?
And why didn't your friend feel bad even if no one called him too?

It's because he is not wounded. Your wound in this case may be the need for social approval. You may have been wounded before by people who didn’t approve you and so whenever someone ignores you again it hurts, not because it should hurt, but because it touched your wound and reminded you of the past rejection.

How many times do you find a girl asking her friends for reassurance about her looks just after breaking up?

Why did she experience pain? Did she love him that much? No, it's just that she was wounded before. When she was young people always used to make fun of her because she was too slim and now whenever someone rejects her she feels bad, not because of the rejection, but because this rejection touched her old wound.

Why do you think a guy may feel broken and devastated when he gets a rejection letter? Is it because he really wanted the job that much? Not really.

If he wanted it that much he would have felt bad about the rejection but he wouldn't have felt broken. It's just that this rejection touched an old wound.

When that guy was a child he his parents rarely used to encourage him and as a result he grew up lacking self-confidence in his abilities.

Whenever he gets a rejection letter he feels bad not because of being worried about his future but because of his old wound that hasn't yet healed.

Those Wounds Are Making You Vulnerable

Those wounds are making you vulnerable! Things that others usually don’t pay attention to may prevent you from sleeping just because you have some wounds that haven't healed.

The more wounds you have the more you'll find that small things bother you and you will eventually become over-sensitive to every critical comment even if the other person didn’t really mean to offend you.

The more wounds you have the less happy you will feel because every now and then something will touch your wound and make you feel bad.

Just like the water that touched your wounded hand in the example above. Some people think that they can heal their wounds by forgetting about them or by keeping themselves busy, however, this strategy always works against them.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how happiness can't be really achieved unless you get rid of your emotional wounds or at least start dealing with them. Heal your wounds, face your problems, stop turning your back to them and you will kill depression.

How to Heal These Wounds?

Before you can heal any of these wounds you should first identify their location, or in other words, know the reason behind that wound. Don’t be passive but seek your answers and trace your wounds to their origin.

If critical comments bother you then don’t just stay like that. Search the web, read more, think and analyze until you know the root cause and when you finally know the cause healing the wound itself will become much simpler.

Since you are here you can discover the root cause of all of your emotional wounds through the articles on this site. Remember, if you tried to escape or forget about these wounds they aren't going to leave you alone but they will remind you of their existence with each rejection, critical comment or whenever you get dumped or ignored. Don’t leave your wounds like that, heal them.

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