Why accepting yourself is a bad idea

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I want to accept myself

I get many mails from readers who tell me about the self acceptance problems they are going through. It's very common that i get a mail like the one below every now and then:

"Hi, I have a problem with obesity. I consider myself overweight and i want to find a way to accept myself for who i am and to believe that my personality is more important than my looks"

In my previous article Does being obese affect your self esteem i explained how your self confidence depends on your own personal beliefs and nothing else.

If i believed that i am a smart person then no matter what people tell me i will still think that i am smart. If i got bad grades one day i won't change my idea about myself simply because deep inside i believe that i am smart.

Now if i believed that i am not smart then i will be very sensitive to criticism and even jokes that directly or indirectly tackle the smartness subject.

The problem with the reader who sent that email is that while she believes that obesity is a bad thing , according to her own subconscious beliefs, yet she still wants to accept it and this never works.

You can only accept something if you believe that its fine and that it can't be changed but if you tried to accept something , that a part of you dislikes, then no matter what you do acceptance will never happen.

People got acceptance wrong

So many people have gotten the acceptance principle wrong. They believe that accepting the things they don't like is a great soloution in all cases while in many cases this never works.

If your subconscious mind isn't happy with something , even if it was the shape of your nose, then accepting it can hardly happen. So many people try to lie to themselves by convincing themselves that they have accepted themselves for who they are yet they feel puzzled when they find themselves feeling anxious during social interactions.

When you try to force your subconscious mind to accept something it doesn't like it will rebel back with anxiety, lack of self confidence and even panic attacks. See why anxiety is just an internal conflict inside your mind.

So what if a person really hates the shape of their nose, how can they live with it?
The right answer is: they don't have to live with it they should change it. See the positive psychological effects of plastic surgery.

So many people don't like to hear that and instead they prefer to hear something like accept yourself and you will be feeling good. The main reason people prefer the acceptance soloution is that they are lazy.

It's much easier to accept oneself instantly , or at least to try to fake it, than to go through a diet , limit calorie intake or exercise vigorously each day.

It's all about pleasing yourself

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that self confidence will only happen when you do the things you believe in.

If you believe you are good then no matter what people do or say your belief will hardly change. But if you believe that something is wrong with you then no matter what others say you will still feel bad about yourself.

You are not doing serious changes in order to please others but you are just doing those changes in order to become in harmony with yourself.

In short if you don't like something about yourself or your looks then change it.
If that thing can't be changed , like your skin color for example, then you need to work on accepting it or changing your own beliefs.

And in the later case your mind will truly help you.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

2knowmyself is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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