This is why you say awkward things around people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Remember when you said that stupid thing?

When was the last time you acted really clumsy?
When was the last time you said something totally stupid?
Ever wondered why you sometimes fail to find the right words?

Don't worry i have something really interesting for you today that can help you get over that problem. but let me ask you a question first, have you ever tried to notice your emotions while talking to people?

Most probably your answer will be yes. After all you sometimes experience intense emotions around some people, right?

Well, that's not what i am asking about. My question is, have you ever tried to notice your emotions when you are talking to close people and feeling totally comfortable?

Here is a quick fact. You actually don't feel totally comfortable when you think you are feeling totally comfortable but it just the fact that you got used to your emotions that made you think so.

How micro emotions affect your daily communications

Most people only notice intense emotions but fail to register weak ones. The problem here is, those weak emotions do affect our ability to communicate greatly.

If you tried to monitor your emotions tightly the next time you talk to a person you might discover things like:

  • You sometimes speak to break the silence because you felt anxious
  • You sometimes quickly change the subject because you are afraid to talk about a certain topic
  • You sometimes talk when the person you are talking to stays silent because you are afraid of what might be said
  • You sometimes say anything because you don't want to remain silent as it makes you uncomfortable

Those are just some of the things you might notice when you start watching your emotions closely. Certainly there are many other things that you might discover but in all cases you will reach the same conclusion.

Those weak emotions push in certain directions all the time and force you to say things you don't really want to say, See do people really mean what they say.

Try to stay silent and see what happens

If you do talk a lot then try to remain more silent the next time you meet someone and then monitor your thoughts. All of your worries, fears and anxieties will become stronger when you talk less and so they will become clearer to you, See also why people feel uncomfortable around introverts.

Now try to only talk when there is something really important to say and you would notice that in so many cases you talk because of certain emotions that you never pay attention to. You will discover that many words are said as a result of subtle feelings of anxiety , fear and many other emotions.

In other words you might not be communicating with people with your real personality because so many of those emotions are actually forcing you into certain directions.

Did you try to stay silent and look at the person you are talking to?
Did you try to think a lot before talking?
Did you try to chose your words before saying them?

If you don't do so then know that your emotions are controlling your words.
And this is why you sometimes mess things up.

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