How to be in control of your life

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I am not guilty, blame the cruelty of life

I was talking to a friend of mine who wasn’t feeling good because of some bad events that happened in her life. My friend told me during the conversation that its really sad that one must be a liar, dishonest and deceiving in order to succeed in life.

My friend had a strong belief that in order to be successful she needs to have some of these bad traits she mentioned but since these traits are against my friend’s values she believed that she is trapped forever and that was the main reason for the depression she was suffering from.

My friend felt depressed while believing that its not her fault. After all everything is out of her hand and it’s the cruelty of life that forced her to live with such people, right?

Sadly my friend had lots of false beliefs and she was just trying to fool herself by convincing herself that she is helpless so that she doesn’t feel guilty when she doesn’t attempt to help herself!! (see Deceiving yourself).

You are in Control!!

If you are serious about making dramatic changes to your life and your mood then you Must first admit that you have control over everything that is happening in your life. Yes there might be some events that are out of your hands but still your response to these events is 100% controllable.

Lots of people try to prove to themselves that they are helpless in order not to take the responsibility of fighting back or doing any effort. Just like my friend who didn’t want to face the failures, rejections and hard work necessary for success she decided to acquire false beliefs about life in order to let someone else carry the responsibility.

Don’t you know anybody who succeeded and who was honest?
That was the question i asked my friend. I wanted her to admit that she has a false belief so that she realizes that she is in control. Once someone regains that type of control over his life he can then do anything to change the bad situation he is in.

The price of not wanting to carry the responsibility is usually depression!! In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how your mind can send you a depression signal when you have a problem that seems to have no solution. There is no stronger indication that you can't solve your problems more than knowing that you are helpless and that you are not in control!!

How to be in control of your life

If you want to be in control of your life then you must first stop giving the control to others. By learning how to stop blaming life, external conditions, circumstances and even God you will develop a sense of a control over your life. (see Blaming others).

If you kept saying that you will fail because your teacher doesn’t want you to succeed then you will never feel guilty when you don’t study and this will lead to real failure!!

You must understand that you are only blaming other factors because you are afraid to be in charge and that even if you can’t control certain things you can still change your strategies and try again.

Becoming in control of your life starts by taking the responsibility for it, only then you can feel in control and only then you can start helping yourself.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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