How to give a motivational speech to a friend or to yourself

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How many times you needed motivation but didn't find it?

How many times you were in desperate need of motivation but didn't manage to find it?
How many times you couldn't help a close relative pull himself together with your words?
How many times you failed to get up after you fell??

Many people mistakenly think that the ability to motivate themselves and others depends on charisma, language fluency or even the choice of words but that's only a part of the story.

While all of these skills will certainly help still they can be totally useless if you didn't understand the psychology of motivation and how the human mind works.

Consider the person who's down an electrical device that has a problem. If you pushed the right buttons that device will work perfectly but if you pushed the wrong ones, even if your intentions were good, then it won't work.

Motivating a person works the same way exactly, you first need to find out where the right buttons are then you should push them. (see also How to inspire people)

The right way to give a motivational speech

  • 1) Understand the person's belief system: The biggest mistake people do when trying to motivate others is that they start talking right away before hearing the person who needs motivation. Let that person talk, understand the situation from his own point of view, get to know more about his beliefs, find out the negative beliefs he has, know why he believes that he is stuck, find out the things he believes in the most and find out the solutions he believes might work
  • 2) Use his own beliefs to motivate him: Lets suppose you discovered that this person believes in God. In such a case the best way to motivate him is to tell him that God will help him. This will work because your words will resonate with his own beliefs. You will be able to motivate a person if your words matched his beliefs about life. Now compare this to telling a hopeless person that he must be positive, the first thing that will come to his mind is , why should i be positive? (see also How to comfort a person who worries)
  • 3) Use his own points of strength to motivate him: Find out what this person likes about himself. Does he believe that he is resilient? If you found so then telling him something like "Any person could fall and not get up except you, you are the kind of person who always gets up". Now such a phrase will motivate that person so much if he really believed he was resilient. Don't try to force an identity over a person if he doesn't believe in it. If a person doesn't think that he is creative then don't tell him "Cmon, i am sure you can find a creative solution" because such a statement will make him feel worse
  • 4) Use his dreams and his fears to motivate him: Lets suppose this person really wants to be rich and fears ending up like a loser. In such a case a phrase like "Now you have the choice of remaining where you are, spending the rest of your life unable to look at your face in the mirror or you can chose to fight for the dreams you always believed in until you make them true. You can spend the rest of your life unable to pay your bills or you can become one of those millionaires you always wanted to be like". You can chose to remain in hell or you can climb out of hell" will have a very powerful impact on him
  • 5) Use more powerful words as you progress: In order for your words to touch a person they need to resonate with his current emotions. You can't tell a person who is severely depressed "Cmon you can do it" but you first need to start saying words that resonate with his feelings then slowly change his emotions to a new state that will enable him to receive more positive words from you. Here is an example "I know you are feeling down and i know how hard it is to find yourself in such a situation but on the other hand i know you are not the kind of person who gives up that easily (provided that he believes that he doesn't give up easily". After his mood changes a bit you can then use more motivating words like "If you never gave up before then why did you chose today to give it all away!"

Motivating yourself with a motivational speech

Do you know that its easier to motivate yourself using a motivational speech than to motivate someone else?

After all you know your strengths very well, you know what you believe in and you understand what makes you tick.

If you are too down to talk to yourself in a positive way then go for online motivational videos. Make sure you only watch the ones that resemble your current situation.

For example if you believed that you are a strong person but in the same time you were feeling so down then Al Pacino's Inspirational Speech will do magic to you. Check it out:

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