How to never get defeated

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Do you believe you have impossible goals?

Lets be honest. Life is tough, sometimes you do your best yet fail to get what you want. Just like Stallone said in Rocky movie the "World is ain't all sunshine and rainbows but its a very mean and nasty place"

All of these are facts that i approve and that i can't deny. I am not the kind of personal development writer who fools himself and fools his readers by telling them that by just thinking positively all good things will happen but am rather a realistic person who tries to guide you with the most practical facts i know.

I think we both agree that it sometimes seems impossible to reach a certain goal and that giving up seems like the best solution for the sane person.

Lets suppose you wanted something so badly. Believed you can't get it then decided you won't pursue it anymore. How do you think your life will be like after giving up? Lets visualize that scenario together.

Life after giving up

In the beginning you might feel a bit comfortable because after all you don't have to work hard anymore. In fact you might feel as if a great load was removed from your back.

But there will still be a very little problem with giving up. Your mind wanted you to achieve something badly because it meant a lot to you and now you stopped pursuing it.

In such a case your mind will do its best to help you maintain your psychological stability after giving up on that thing that really mattered.

There are lots of scenarios in this case, here are some of them: you might start finding the idea of luck very appealing, you might be much smarter and consider your loss a part of your fate or you might completely lie to yourself by believing that you didn't really want what you were after. (see also Self deception examples)

Whatever the method your mind will choose to help you feel better will work until you come across anything that reminds you of what you gave up on and this is when you will start to feel unhappy, dissatisfied with your life, get bad moods without understanding the reason, get bad dreams and finally you will end up feeling depressed.

You will then see a psychologist who will tell you that you have some imbalance in your brain chemicals and that you need some medication. You will start using the medication and eventually they won't work.

After some time you will start to seek other solutions to fix your mood. If you were strong enough you will go for healthy methods such as yoga, positive thinking and exercising while if you were not you might fall prey to bad habits, smoking, drinking or even drugs.

And whether you went in the positive direction or the negative one your pain will never go away. You will feel lost, life will become meaningless, you will believe you don't understand yourself well and you will start developing very negative ideas about life.

Do you want to live like that?

Do you want to live like that?
Is that the kind of life you want to live?
Is this how you want to end up?
Lets suppose you grew old and had grandsons then they asked you to tell them your life story, is this the story you want to tell?

I know your goals seem unreachable and that's why i started with the part that says that life isn't simple but do you really want to give up and live like that?

Or do you want to live like a warrior?
A warrior might not win all of his battles but he lives with his head up because even when he gets defeated he believes that he will keep fighting until he gets what he wants.

Is it possible that a warrior fail to get what he wants? Yes it might happen
but there is a great difference between living like a warrior and living like the defeated person i described in the lines above.

There is a big difference between living with hope while believing that one day things could be better and living like a coward who decided not to pursue his dreams because they seem impossible.

Who do you really want to be?
And what do you want people to say when they tell your story?
I am done. The decision is yours.

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