Should you break up with someone who cheated on you

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Should cheating mark the end of a relationship?

First of all let me make it clear that i consider cheating a very bad and unethical act but does this mean that cheating should mark the end of a relationship?

Before i answer this question let me make few concepts about cheating clear. Let's consider two different examples. Let's assume that a man married a woman whom he didn't like that much then after sometime he met another woman, got attracted to her then cheated on his wife. Lets call this case A.

Now let's consider Case B where a man married his wife because he loved her so much then one day he felt he wanted to bring some novelty to his sexual life and then ended up cheating on his Wife. Lets call this case B.

Does this mean that both women should end their relationships as soon as they discover that?
No. In case A it's clear that the relationship must end because the reason the man cheated was that he didn't love his wife but in Case B, although the man did a horrible thing, the man still loves his wife so much. (see also Can someone love you and cheat on you)

I am not trying to defend cheating by any means but i am trying to make it clear that the mind of a man is way different than the mind of a woman when it comes to sex. In my book The psychology of physical attraction i explained how a man can get aroused by a woman and feel like sleeping with her as soon as he sees her even if he has no emotions for her.

There is a large amount of studies and evidence that shows that men aren't actually monogamous. And while that isn't an excuse for cheating still it can help a woman understand how can a man love her and yet feel like sleeping with someone else.

Men vs Women

While women usually seek sex to bond with the person they have emotions for men seek sex for the sake of having sex. A man can love a woman yet feel like sleeping with 10 other different women and the reason this can happen is the way the male brain works. (see also Why do men cheat)

A man gets sexually attracted to women through his eye sight; a mechanism that can't be stopped. A man can love his wife yet get sexually attracted to another woman that is just passing by. This doesn't mean that a man has any emotions for that woman but it just shows how the male brain works. (see How men and women perceive attractiveness)

So what does all this mean?
It means that if a man cheated on his wife then before she ends the relationship she needs to understand why that cheating happened. If it happened because the man loves someone else or because the man developed emotions for another woman then ending the relationship might be the right thing.

If it happened because the man just wanted to have sex with a different female then the woman should still make him understand that he did a horrible thing but not rush into breaking up.

When women cheat

Some women think that society takes cheating more seriously when it comes from a woman because they are discriminating against females but that's not correct at all.

Women usually don't feel sexually attracted to a man before they believe he can make a good future partner. In other words when cheating comes from a woman it's usually a powerful indication that she has emotions for someone else or that she is in love with a different man.

But when a man cheats he might either be in love or he might just have low self control over the natural desires imposed on him by his male brain.

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