Why do i always attract narcissists

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Are you attracting them? or getting attracted to them?

Narcissists can be hard to deal with especially in relationships. It's not uncommon for a person to come across a narcissist these days especially after the internet changed the way people think and behave.

Some people seem to have a problem with Narcissists because from among all other people they tend to attract them. The problem here can be seen from many angles and the first one is the fact that narcissists are so attractive for women.

Are you sure you aren't the one who attracted the narcissist?
Could it be that you liked them first then attracted them to you?

In my previous article Why do i only get attracted to married men i explained how some people complain about attracting certain types of people without knowing that they are the ones who are broadcasting certain signals that attract those people.

I do nothing but Narcissists still find me attractive

If you are 100% sure you don't attract narcissists on intention then you can move on to the next step which is examining your own behaviour to find why narcissists find you appealing.

Before you can understand why you attract Narcissists you need to understand how narcissists think.

Narcissists usually look for victims to impress them with their charm then get their narcissistic supply from them. The narcissistic supply is the attention a Narcissist gets from people and it's the thing they are always after.

Generally you would be more attractive to a Narcissist if you:

  • 1) Get easily impressed: Narcissists look for victims who can get easily impressed in order to make them like them
  • 2) You glorify them: If the Narcissist discovered that you fell for his trap he will try to pull you even deeper
  • 3) You give them attention: The one thing most Narcissists are after is attention. When Narcissists find that you are giving them enough attention they will consider you a perfect target

Are you being needy?

Narcissists love attention and so needy people are considered a perfect target for them. Narcissists would always want people to care for them and to glorify them and this is why they pick the targets that are more likely to help them with their goals.

If you have a low self esteem, if you are a needy person or if you always shower Narcissists with attention then they will always keep choosing you as a target.

In other words sometimes the reason you attract Narcissists is connected to your own personal flaws. The good news here is that this can be changed. Once you change your behaviour a Narcissist might find that you no longer match their criteria and so they might become less interested in you.

Now here is a very important question.
Hou did you feel when you read that last line?
Did you feel bad when you knew that by changing your behaviour you will be pushing narcissists away?
If that's the case then you might be attracting Narcissist to you because you also want attention.

Do you want to talk to me directly? In the improved coaching service you can reach me on Whats-app anytime and get voice message replies from me whenever you are stuck.

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