Why do you have disturbing thoughts about hurting others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Where do those disturbing thoughts come from

So a person you hate just did something that made you feel bad and shortly after that you found yourself imagining that he is dying or going through a bad accident.

Those kinds of thoughts disturb many people , especially the ones who don't intend any harm for others. Many people wonder why they get suchthoughts even though they would never do such things in real life.

While i disagree with many of Freud's concepts i still believe that he got some things right. Freud said that the id , the name he choose for the part that acts based on its desires, feels like doing whatever it wants with disregard to anything.

Freud said that the main goal of the id is satisfaction without cariying about anything else including others and their safety. I am not saying here that the human psyche is divided into 3 parts just like Freud said but i strongly agree that there is a part inside each one of us that wants all of its demands met with disregard to anything or anyone.

That part is the part that sends you the disturbing thoughts in order to help you reach certain psychological goals which usually revolve around satisfying your desires.

Why do you get those thoughts

Now you know where do those thoughts come from but the more important question is why do you get them?
The part inside you that wants to reach certain goals no matter what the consequences are, let's call it your subconscious mind, can get frustrated if it believed that reaching one of those goals become impossible. See also why your subconscious mind is like a little child.

For example if you want to get promoted but the person you were always jealous of got promoted instead of you then a great amount of frustration will take part inside your mind. To release some of this frustration your subconscious mind can keep imagining negative scenarios about that person in order to make you feel better.

This doesn't mean that your mind actually wants you to do so but it might just mean that it's trying to release some of the the newly acquired frustration.

So as long as you never act based on those disturbing thoughts you should never consider yourself a bad person. You should only think you are going in the wrong direction when you start to plan for a bad thing such as bad mouthing that person in front of your boss for example.

The other reason you get those kind of thoughts is that your subconscious mind found no better strategy to help you reach your goals but to bring that person down. In the Solid Self confidence program i said that if you didn't find a working strategy to reach your own goals then you might start to think about strategies to prevent others from reaching their goals.

How to prevent such disturbing thoughts

So how can you prevent such distributing thoughts?
The short answer is : increase your skills and become less helpless.

The helplessness a person feels when he finds himself unable to reach an important psychological goal can fuel those disturbing thoughts. If your mind found that you have another way to release this frustration or to reach your own goals then probably it won't think about those bad possibilities.

In other words your mind sometimes uses those thoughts as a last resort because it can't really find anything else better to do.

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