Dealing with fear of commitment in a relationship

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Dealing with fear of commitment in a relationship

How to deal with fear of commitment in a relationship?
Before you know how to deal with that kind of fear you must first understand where does it come from.

If a person was hurt or was abused in any way in a past relationship then he is very likely to develop fear of commitment but the question is, why do so many people who have never been in a relationship before fear commitment so much?

In my previous article how fears and phobias are developed i said that someone could develop a certain fear as a result of experiencing the bad situation himself or by just seeing someone else go through it.

This means that children of divorced families might develop fear of commitment in a relationship. Also if the father was abusive and if the mother suffered in front of the kids then they may develop the fear of commitment to any relationship.

Getting over the fear of commitment in a relationship

While each person might have his own different reason for fearing commitment in relationships still all people without exception will have this fear because of a certain limiting belief that they formed as a result of their past experience.

A woman might fear commitment in relationships because of believing that all men are cheaters and that the man she will be with will certainly cheat on her and break her heart.

In order to successfully deal with the fear of commitment in a relationship you must first understand your own set of limiting beliefs that are causing your fears. Without knowing them your efforts won't lead to anything.

Limiting beliefs and fear of commitment in a relationship

Dealing with the fear of commitment in a relationship is all about getting rid of the limiting beliefs you formed about relationships earlier.

There is only one way to get rid of limiting beliefs which is to prove them wrong by challenging them.

For example the first question you should ask yourself if you believe that all men are cheaters is , aren't there any man who never cheated? Don't i know any couples who are happy in a relationship?

Of course you won't break your fear of commitment in a relationship by asking questions but these questions will weaken the limiting beliefs and allow you to give it a try.

Fears grow when you avoid them and that's why most people who fear commitment remain afraid of relationships throughout their lives.

In my article about fear of darkness i said that this type of fear disappears when the person spends few nights in the dark without finding any ghosts. When this happens its proves his limiting beliefs wrong and thus he gets rid of the fear.

The same goes for the fear of commitment. As soon as you get into a good relationship your fear of commitment will disappear as a result of the removal of the false belief However if you remained afraid and didn't give it a try your false belief will become stronger.

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