How do people lie to themselves

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Do people lie to themselves?

Many people lie to others but are there people who lie to themselves?
And if those people exist then how do they do this?
Won't the person who lies to himself spot the lie and feel ashamed?

Before i can answer these questions i have first to tell you about the most common reason that motivate people to lie to themselves which is the inner conflict they suffer from.

Barry always wanted to be rich but all of his attempts weren't successful. Barry was put under severe pressure because while he eagerly wanted to achieve that goal his belief system stated that it cannot be reached.

Barry got depressed because he believed that no matter what he did he wont be able to realize his dream. One day Bary was talking to a friend about his lost dream then his friend told him something that appealed a lot to him; "All rich people are thieves" said his friend.

At this point Bary felt way better and started holding on to that new statement until it became a solid belief. Later on whenever Bary remembered his goal he just reminded himself that he never achieved it because he wasn't a thief and not because he didn't try hard enough.

Why lying to yourself is a serious problem

People usually lie to themselves in order to solve serious mental conflicts. While a part of them wants to fulfill a certain need another part believes that their goals can't be achieved. In such a case those people hang on to the first lie they find then believe in it.

What those people never understood is that no matter what they did to convince themselves that they don't need to reach their important goals their subconscious minds will never feel satisfied.

The reason you have goals is that your mind wants to fulfill certain psychological needs and no matter what you did to suppress these goals they will always remain there at the back of your mind. (see also Unmet needs psychology)

Do you know what happened to barre later on?
After few days of good feelings Barry became depressed once again but this time he never knew the reason behind his depression. He went to see a therapist who told him that the problem was with his brain chemicals and asked him to take antidepressants.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that no matter what you do to end your depression it wont go away before you eliminate the root cause that brought it in the first place. That's why the antidepressants never helped Barry feel better.

Do you know what's the fatal mistake Barry did? Not only that he ran away from his problems but he also confused himself more. Before he lied to himself he understood perfectly why he was feeling bad but after he did the bad mood appeared as if it had no reason.

Examples of lies that people tell themselves

  • I don't need that: Many people who fail to reach their goals start to claim that they didn't need what they were after. But of course they never do so before they find a good false belief to hang on so that their subconscious minds finds their arguments convincing.
  • Spirituality is all i need: Many people try to escape from the material world all together by claiming that all what they need is spirituality. Those people forget that our psychological needs are hard wired inside our brains and that unless they are satisfied we will keep feeling bad. (see also Why are some people needy
  • That is Evil: Some people claim that they don't want money because money is Evil. Others claim that they don't want power because this power can make them do evil things. Again the same story is repeated but with a different belief. A person finds himself stuck then hangs on to a new belief that helps him escape from the misery

Do you know what's the way out of this mess?
Its promising yourself to be brave and to fight for what you want to the end without lying to yourself.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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