How to prevent people from putting you down

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

how to prevent people from putting you down

No matter how much self confidence you have or how much faith you have in your abilities you wont be able to prevent your mind from absorbing the negative things that people who put you down say. (see Subconscious mind programming)

I am sure it happened to you before that you were enthusiastic about something then you were put down by a close friend or even a complete stranger. Even if you didn't give up on that goal i am sure you found yourself pursuing it with much less enthusiasm. (see What causes apathy)

So what can a person do to prevent others from putting him down?
Is there a way to silence their negative words?
No, but there is a way to prevent these negative words from affecting you!

Understand the personality of people who put you down

Most people feel down right away as soon as someone tells them anything negative forgetting that they didn't take into consideration an extreemly important factor which is the personality of the person who put them down!

Have you ever went to two different doctors with the same x-ray and got 2 different responses? I once broke one hand and went with the same x-ray to two doctors, the first told me "you will have to give up exercising for a year and half" and the second told me "you will be back in 3 month". After 8 weeks i was lifting heavy once again!

The difference in their advice came from the different personalities those people possessed even though they both had the same level of knowledge. The first was a pessimist and a cautious person while the second was a risk taker and a more optimistic person.

When you start examining the negative comment you received from a person in the context of his own personality you will get a completely different meanings out of that negative comment!

Examples of biased negative comments:

  • 1) Poor past experience: Most people who had poor past experience with something will assume that you will go through that experience the same way they did. If a girl was cheated on then she will tell you that your man will cheat on you as well. This doesn't mean that she is right but it just means that this is how she sees the world (see How your past affects your present)
  • 2) Personal capabilities: Ask bill gates whether you can become a millionaire or not and he will tell you that you can definitely do it. Now ask a friend of yours who never managed to succeed in life the same question and he will respond with negative statements blaming luck, the economy or anything else. The same question was asked but you got two different responses. Each person answers the question according to what he believes he can do and so this answer never truly reflects your own capabilities. Why do you assume that you are like your friend who failed instead of assuming that you are like bill gates?
  • 3) Different personalities: Each person has a different personality. Ask 10 different people about their opinion about something and you might get 10 different responses. Whenever a person gives you advice it comes out biased towards his own personal preferences. In short, don't listen to the negative comment and feel bad but instead find out first the personality of who said it! In the Solid Self confidence program i said every person sees his own version of reality and as a result he gives advice based on that specific version
  • 4) And much more: There are cowards, ill willed, air headed and ignorant people out there. Whenever you get a negative comment don't process it in in your mind before you find out what kind of person said it. Otherwise you might be risking letting a coward ruin your whole life plan even if you were a brave person.

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