How to understand someone with depression

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to understand someone with depression

How to understand someone with depression?

The problem people face when dealing with a depressed person is that ,according to their point of view, it seems to them that there is no big reason for his depression.

As a result of lack of understanding people who try to support a depressed person usually end giving him advice such as be strong, just forget about everything and enjoy your life.

For a depressed person these advice never make any sense and if getting over depression was that easy he could have done it on his own. In order to be able to help someone with depression you need to understand depression well first.

What is depression?

As a result of the way we were raised and the life experiences we have been through we develop certain desires that become responsible for our actions and motives in life.

For example a child who didn't get enough attention might grow up as an attention seeking adult who wants to be in the center of attention.

These desires are called drives. Now what if someone had very strong desires but didn't manage to fulfill them ??

What if a person who needed approval so badly was rejected by the ones he loved? Won't this cause him some kind of distress?

Yes, and this is exactly what depression is all about. Its the feeling you get when the road to reaching one of the most important desires you have become permanently blocked. (at least it seems to be permanently blocked to the depressed person)

So there is no single cause for depression because it depends on the different drives people have.

Some people won't care about money while others would become depressed if they didn't get more of it.

Some people won't care about relationships or being loved while others would suffer and become depressed on spotting the slightest sign of rejection.

How the depressed person thinks

The depressed person is subject to a wide array of negative emotions that put him in a bad mood and steal his enthusiasm. A depressed person will typically be a negative thinker. Depression promotes negative thinking and lets the person see the negative aspect of everything.

The loss of hope component of depression makes a depressed person more likely to think negatively of problems. This is why giving advice to a depressed person doesn't always work.

And this is also the same reason why depressed people are more likely to worry and experience anxiety. Because worrying happens when a person focuses on the negatives depression usually promotes more worrying.

A depressed person will usually lack enthusiasm to do the important things he should do. As a result of believing that nothing will work the depressed person will have no motivation to take certain actions. See also Lack of enthusiasm and depression.

You have to understand that the belief system of the depressed person will prevent him from interacting with the advice you are giving to him and unless you do it properly you will hardly be able to push the depressed person to get something done.

How to help a depressed person?

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression I said that research has proven that depression medication and placebos have the same exact success rate. If this should us lead to conclude anything it would be that depression medication is not the solution to depression at all.

Based on the previous facts its now clear that understanding the depressed person is the key to helping him.

You can't just ask a person to think positively or to be strong if he believes that he can't fulfill his most important desires because of blocked roads.

Instead, you should help that person find hope to achieve his goals if they were realistic or help him fix his beliefs if he had unrealistic goals.

For example, if someone was depressed because he lost his money then you should encourage him to rebuild his wealth. This will provide him with hope and since hope and depression cannot coexist together he will feel better.

On the other hand if your friend was a perfectionist who wants everybody to love him and who feels depressed whenever people reject him then you should help him think realistically instead of encouraging him to reach a fictional goal.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Want to know more?

How can friends help with depression

Do depression tablets work?

Depression self help

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)





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