The connection between impatience, worrying and negative thinking

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What causes worrying?

There are so many different causes for worrying but there is one common thing between all of the worrying cases which is having doubts about your ability to solve a certain problem. If for example you were in dept and your income was low then most probably you will worry about your ability to pay the dept.

In other words, worrying happens when you believe you don't have the resources to meet a certain life challenge. But there is an important fact that you might have already noticed which is that impatient people worry much more than normal people.

If you are an impatient person who has serious problems with waiting then read this article to know how to put your worrying under control.

The connection between impatience and worrying

What is impatience?
Impatience is the habit of doing a check on all of your pending problems every short period of time. Lets suppose you were waiting for an important email from your employer which will determine whether you will get promoted or not.

If you were a normal person then you might recall your promotion issue few times a day, lets say 3 times and as a result you will check your mail 3 times.

Now the mind of an impatient person works in a different way. After 2 hours he will remember his unsolved problem and as a result start to wonder whether the mail arrived or not.

The problem that happens in such a case is that the more a problem is recalled the more the mind notices that it was not solved yet. Remember when i said that subconscious mind programming happens when a thought is repeated so many times?

Now because an impatient person remembers that the problem wasn't solved many many times a day his subconscious mind starts to believe that the problem isn't going to be solved.

As a result of this belief negative thinking happens. In my article Where do automatic negative thoughts come from i said that the root cause of negative thoughts are negative beliefs. Once a negative belief is developed all kind of negative scenarios are going to pass through your mind.

So how to put negative thoughts under control?

If you are an impatient person then as long as you keep checking for your problems every few minutes then the possibility of developing negative beliefs will be so high.

The first thing you can do to put those negative thoughts under control is to write down a plan that you trust. Whenever you remember your problem you will also remember your plan and so believe that everything is going to be fine. (see also Why you should write a plan)

The second and more important task you should do is to learn how to check for your problems less often. This can only be achieved by practice. Are you waiting for an important email? then learn how to check your mail 2 times a day only.

Are you worried about the stocks you bought? Then don't check their price every few minutes.

Note that i am not asking you to be indifferent or careless. I am just asking you not to check often if checking often won't do any good. If for example you were going to sell your stocks on a certain day then its OK to check the price often because you have to take a decision but if you aren't going to sell anyway then why check??

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