What to do when everything goes wrong

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Did your life become messed up?

I know how it feels when you find that everything has gone wrong. You wake up feeling bad because of a work related problem that you can't solve yet. You pass by the mirror only to feel worse because you gained some weight.

You feel guilty when you eat because you know you are not eating healthy food. Everything has became negative all of a sudden. Each thing that you do or think about reminds you of an unpleasant fact about your life. (see Where do negative thoughts come from)

In other words, your life got messed up.

Understanding this strange state of mind

In order to be able to get rid of this unwanted emotional state you first need to understand what happened. Most probably you had so many tiny unsolved problems that weren't really enough to make you believe that your life is messed up then when another big problem happened it affected your mood and made all other tiny problems appear bigger.

In other words, you already had many unsolved problems but because your mood wasn't bad you weren't thinking about them all the time. But when another major problem happened it put you in a negative mood that forced you to see everything through a negative lens.

Lets suppose that your boss threatened to fire you, in such a case your mind will go into a negative state and you will automatically attract other negative thoughts such as "i gained a lot of weight lately" or "i am not satisfied with my salary".

Under the effect of this new mental state you will recall all the unsolved problems you have and everything will seem to be wrong and not in place.

What to do when everything goes wrong

So what can you do in order to get over this unwanted mental state? Here are the exact steps you should take in order to restore your original mental state:

  • 1) Make quick changes to solve some of these tiny problems: Even though you see things through a negative lens still this doesn't mean that you weren't ignoring some of your small problems. In such a case you can get a quick mood boost by making quick changes to solve some of these problems. Here is an example, if you are unsatisfied with your body weight then deciding not to consume soda anymore will actually give you a quick mood boost. In other words, your mind wants solutions to some of these problems in order to stop bothering you with them (see also How the subconscious mind affects a person's behaviour)
  • 2) Improve one life area: When everything goes wrong you will believe that there is nothing good about your life unless you find a life area that wasn't affected yet. In other words, the pretense of one life area that is not messed up can shield you against these negative thoughts. In order to create such a shield you need to find the life area that was the least affected by the circumstances then work on making it better. This life area could be your health, looks, work, spiritual life or any other area. As soon as you improve this area your mind will start questioning the belief that everything went wrong and you will end up feeling way better (see also Changing negative core beliefs)
  • 3) Strike back: Once you manage to secure that area that will act as a shield against these thoughts move on to another life area and start improving it. by doing so you won't just end up feeling better but you will actually discover that you improved your life a great deal
  • 4) Don't leave an open door behind you: As a preventive action you need to stop ignoring the small problems in your life because they could backfire at you any time. Make sure you deal with these small problems as soon as they appear in your life else they might make you believe that everything went wrong one day

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