When should i let go of something

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Should i give up?

I get many emails from people asking me whether they should give up on something or not. Whether that thing was a dream, a relationship or a job before deciding what to do you should first ask yourself those questions:

Why did you want that thing from the beginning?
Is it a core need that motivated you to go after that thing?
It is something so important for you that you couldn't go a day without thinking about?
Is it something that matters a lot?

If your answers were yes then you should never give up.
Now the question that might come to your mind is, what if that thing never worked?

What if it was a job and you didn't get it?
What if it was a person but you got rejected?
What if it was a dream and it didn't come true?

When should i let go of something

There are two steps you should take if that thing was very important to you:

The first is doing every thing that you could possibly do and fight the war to the end. When you fail after you have done everything that you could have possibly done you will only feel proud of yourself even if you didn't get what you were after but if you gave up without continuing to the end then you will only feel like a coward who never dared to fight the battle till the end.

So how can you know that its the end? here is a simple example you wanted to marry someone and got rejected (and made sure that's the last answer). What if you wanted to have a private business but failed to start one? In such a case you never tried to the end because you should try more than once.

The second thing you must do is to find a replacement for that thing you didn't manage to get. Here is an example, lets suppose you got rejected at a job interview and that you wanted that job badly.

In such a case you must make a plan to find a better job or at least a similar one.
In other words you should never give up even if things didn't work. If you didn't get what you want and knew that you would never get it then work on getting something better or at least similar.

What you should never do

What you should never do is giving up then settling for less. Even if you will rest physically as a result of stopping your hard work your mind will never find peace.

The thing that you wanted will always be at the back of your mind and will haunt you like a ghost. No matter how you tell yourself you should stop comparing yourself to others it will happen unconsciously.

Even if you developed false beliefs such "no one gets everything" or "life is unfair" your subconscious mind will realize that you are lying to yourself and it will make you depressed for certain.

Yes sometimes you might fail to get something you badly wanted but this never means you can't get something similar or even better.

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