Why do some men like bossy women

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Do you like assertive women?

Why do some men like bossy women?
why do some men like women who take charge?
Do certain men enjoy being controlled?

A typical man will usually want to marry an agreeable woman so that they fight less often but some men get turned off by those agreeable women and prefer bossy ones. Those men get attracted to assertive women who take charge and who are sometimes bossy.

Why do some men like bossy women

  • 1) Bad experience with passiveness: In my previous article how a messed up relationship can affect your future partner choice I said that a bad experience that affects a person badly can impact his future decisions permanently. If a man suffered a lot because of the passiveness of a woman he was committed to then he might only look for assertive women to date later on. In other words, because he has had enough of the problems passiveness causes he started getting attracted to bossy women
  • 2) To tame her: Many men prefer to date bossy women in order to experience the triumph of taming them. After all a person can get a strong self esteem boost if he became the boss in a relationship with a bossy person. In other words the desire to feel superior can be the main drive that motivates a man to date a bossy woman
  • 3) Mixed roles at home: If a man was raised in a home where the woman was the boss and if this experience appealed to him then he will certainly grow up seeking a bossy woman because she will be reminding him of his mom. On the other hand if the man didn't like the fact that his mom was the one taking most of the decisions then he will get turned off by bossy women (see also How your relationship with your caregivers affects you)
  • 4) They enjoy being passive: Some men enjoy being passive. They want to be with women who will take care of them, take the most important decisions for them and help them decide what to do in life. Usually the lack of self esteem can be the main reason why someone would prefer to give the steering wheel of his life to someone else
  • 5) Sexual fantasies: Some men might believe that a bossy women will always take charge in bed and as a result get attracted to her because of sexual reasons. Studies have shown that this is not always true and that a relationship with a bossy woman usually results in less sex. (see also How psychological factors affect sexual desire)

Men who don't like bossy women

So who are the men who don't like bossy women?
Egoistic men, or the ones who believe that they are always right, will not want to get committed to anyone who opposes them in any way. (see How to spot egoistic people)

Stubborn men will also prefer not to date a bossy woman since they are the ones who hate being controlled the most. A typical stubborn man will always fight with a typical bossy woman.

Men who believed that their fathers were weak and undesirable because their mothers were in control will also hate to be with bossy women since they will want to avoid repeating what they witnessed during their childhood.

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