why do some women prefer weaker men

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What is meant by weak?

No the title isn't referring to physically weak men or who those who don't have a well built body but instead it's referring to passive men who aren't dominant. Of course there are so many definitions for a weak man but in general he is the submissive person who is far from being assertive.

If you have been reading for sometime about attraction psychology then am pretty sure this title confused you a lot. After all almost everybody agrees that women are biologically wired to prefer the strong and dominant man who can take care of them and of their offspring.

This is why so many women fall for insensitive jerks who treat them badly. In fact the desire to find a strong man is the main reason many women make wrong choices. (see also Why do women like bad boys?)

In my book The psychology of physical attraction i explained that women are biologically wired to find men with wider shoulders and masculine faces more attractive than other men. This doesn't happen because women care about muscles but because their subconscious minds interpret these signals as signs of strength and masculinity.

So why do some women prefer weaker men?

Now the confusing question is, why do some women like weak men?
In fact some women are turned off by dominant men and only prefer submissive ones who are much weaker than the average man. I am also pretty sure you read somewhere that nice guys finish last which is also a fact. So how come do some women only prefer submissive men?

In order to understand this puzzling question you need to know few facts about Adlerian psychology. According to Alfred Adler all human beings strive for superiority in order to overcome their perceived weaknesses. As a result people get divided into two major categories.

Those who strive for superiority by doing something useful and those who try to achieve the same goal by doing something totally useless. A person who excels at work and becomes the CEO of the company he works at is a perfect example of someone who strives for superiority by doing something useful. On the other hand the person who develops obsessive compulsive hand washing behavior is an example of someone who strives for superiority on the useless side of life. You might wonder what does superiority has to do with frequent hand washing?

The subconscious mind of that person thinks that by making him cleaner than everybody else it can achieve the goal of superiority. Of course not everyone who develops OCD develops it for that reason. If you want to know more about OCD check Obessive hand washing problems

Courage problem

All human beings feel inferior during their early years. After all we are all born weak and helpless. The brave ones strive for superiority by doing useful things while the less brave ones distract themselves by getting indulged in useless behavior. (see also Inferiority complex)

Women who are not brave enough try to achieve the goal of superiority by finding weaker men that they can control. After all it's much easier for them to find someone who is weak than to try to become strong. Of course this is not the only reason some women prefer weak men but it's a major cause.

In addition to that if the woman was raised in a family where the man was submissive she might grow up trying to replicate the experience through finding a weaker man. But again this doesn't happen unless the woman is not brave enough.

So what's the soloution to this problem?
Improving self confidence.

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