Why negative comments hurt

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why negative comments hurt

Sam was on his way to meet some friends when he suddenly met some old school friends by coincidence. The first guy told Sam that he gained some weight since they last met but Sam didn't care at all about the comment.

When the second guy told Sam that his hair is becoming white Sam felt really bad and went home feeling down.

Now the question is why didn't the first negative comment affect Sam? and why did the second one affect him badly?

In order to know the answers to these questions read this article.

Why was Sam hurt by the negative comment?

Sam was an athlete who exercises often. He usually has no problems in keeping his weight under control. When he was told that he gained some weight he didn't care at all because he knew that he could increase the intensity of exercising and lose that extra weight in no time.

But when it came to the second negative comment Sam felt really bad because he remembered the following facts:

1) He still has some important unmet goals
2) Time is running out
3) He wants to be successful before he reaches a certain age

The negative comment about Sam's hair might have not affected him if he didn't have these goals in mind but because he was obsessed with success at an early age that comment reminded him of these unpleasant facts. (see also Fear of growing up)

This is why negative remarks and criticism hurts

If the critical comment reminded you of a problem that you can't solve then most probably you are going to feel bad as soon as you hear it.

Note that the unsolved problem itself didn't cause the bad mood Sam suffered from but its his helplessness that triggered the bad mood.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how losing hope in solving important life problems can cause depression.

Depression happens when the person believes that hope was lost and that time is out but if little hope was still there then most probably the person will only experience temporary depressive phases when someone reminds him of the problem through negative remarks or criticism.

In short, if you want negative remarks and critical comments to have less impact on your mood then you must learn how to not be helpless.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Want to know more?

Why criticism is so hard to take

Why criticism hurts

How to deal with critical people

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)

Hundreds of Psychology Videos

2knowmyself Best Selling Books

How to make someone fall in love with you.
Based on the psychology of falling in love

How to get over anyone in few days
Breakups will never hurt like before.

How i became a dot com millionaire
The ultimate guide to making money from the internet