How to conquer your fears

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How fear limits your potential

I just came back from a wonderful vacation in Cyprus. During the vacation me and my friends came across a relatively high cliff located beside the beach.

We thought about jumping off the cliff into the sea but we were stopped by a warning sign we found nearby. The problem wasn't with the height of the cliff but rather with the rocks resting below the cliff that were clearly visible from above.

When you stand on the edge of the cliff all what you can see is the transparent water with massive rocks beneath it.

Diving strictly prohibited, you may seriously harm yourself

Both the sight of the rocks and the warning sign forced us to give up on jumping and to wait until the closed water sports section reopens so that we ask about a safe spot to jump from.

one hour later someone who already jumped before told the people on the cliff that they can jump safely in this area and that the rocks they see below the sea lie too deep beneath it. Suddenly people started gathering on the cliff and jumping one by one. By the time i arrived back to the cliff i found that 4 people had already jumped.

Rocks below the sea clearly visible from above

How your thoughts promote fear

My turn came after few minutes and i found myself standing on the edge of the cliff thinking about jumping. I felt really afraid as many thoughts came to my mind. What if i hit a rock below the sea? What if i hit a rock on my way to the bottom? what if something wrong happened? Why is this warning sign here??

After 10 seconds of thinking i made my mind and decided to jump.

The jump

For the first millisecond i felt really scared but after that i felt that i made a great achievement that i have never done before. I conquered my fear and discovered many facts about dealing with fear in those few seconds! (see How to become fearless in life)

Just like i said in the Solid Self confidence program as soon as you proof something to your subconscious mind it gives you a quick confidence boost. I always believed i am a brave person but my in order for my subconscious mind to believe me it had to see a real proof.

After that jump my subconscious mind made sure even more that i am a brave person and as a result that belief became stronger. People asked me earlier how to change their beliefs and i replied saying that it can't be done by affirmations or day dreaming but it can only be done by serious actions.

How to conquer your fears

So what can this story teach us about conquering fear?

  • 1) Fear is only in your mind: The jump wasn't as risky as it seemed but our fears were fueled by our thoughts and the warning sign. Many people attempt to do things that aren't really scary but few seconds later they find themselves terrified as a result of the thoughts that came to their minds. Public speaking is a good example that shows how your thoughts can let you end up feeling terrified even if you were feeling good moments ago (see also Self confidence and fear)
  • 2) People scare each other: Most people on the beach never jumped. When people get scared they scare others as well without intending to do so. If you want to be brave then you must first understand that most people are not brave and that following the crowd will only make you a coward (see also 5 reasons you should never follow the crowd)
  • 3)Its OK to be afraid as long as you keep moving forward: All the people who jumped that day felt afraid but they kept moving forward and they did it. In other words, its OK to feel afraid as long as you don't let this fear stop you.(see also How to have courage)
  • 4) Brave people infect each other: Right after few people jumped many people who never thought about jumping did it as well. Just like scared people scare each other brave people infect each other with courage. In short, you must have at least one brave friend in order to get a good dose of courage) (see also What is real courage)

Finally i want you to be careful. Had we knew that anyone got injured in the past by jumping from that cliff we would have never done it. Courage is not about getting yourself injured or even killed but its all about differentiating between real danger and perceived danger that is unreal.

2knowmyself is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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