How to deal with loneliness after a break up

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How loneliness can lead to the wrong choice

So many people do the big mistake of getting into a relationship because they feel lonely. In my previous article Why do i always fall in love with the wrong person i explained how going after the short term needs, such as the desire to kill loneliness, can always lead to the wrong partner choice.

In order for a relationship to be successful you need to choose a partner who can help you meet your long term important needs and not just a one who gives you butterflies in your stomach.

This is why it's very important for you to learn how to get over loneliness so that you don't let it force you to get into the wrong relationship. The time a person becomes vulnerable the most is when he experiences loneliness right after a breakup because those feelings can motivate him to seek another relationship fast without paying attention to what's good for him.

How to deal with loneliness after a break up

In my previous article How to develop intimacy with friends i explained that loneliness can end as soon as you develop intimacy with very few people.

The good news is that normal same-sex relationships can still help you totally kill loneliness. If you broke up with someone then got close to two of your same sex friends then you would still be able to get over loneliness.

People feel lonely because they never build intimacy the right way with their friends. Some people even stay away from their friends after a breakup and this is a great mistake because it intensifies the feelings of loneliness.

In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that some people does the mistake of isolating themselves from people when they get into a relationship and as a result those people find themselves very lonely right after breaking up.

So the first step to ending loneliness right after a breakup is to get closer to your close friends and to develop proper intimacy. As soon as you find that you have close loving friends whom you can share your thoughts, fears and emotions with you will feel much less lonely (See also Why do many people feel lonely after finishing high school or college).

I still feel lonely

If you still feel lonely after a breakup even though you have done those things then the problem might be with proper recovering and not with loneliness. Some people mistake missing their Exes with loneliness.

It's a totally normal thing to miss your Ex occasionally after breaking up but if those feelings are always with you then this means that you haven't properly recovered.

In such a case you don't have to work on getting your Ex back but you just have to analyze the reasons why you still miss that person and see if you can fulfill those needs in a different way (See also this is why you never recovered).

If for example you found that you miss your Ex because they used to complement you all the time then the problem might be with your current level of confidence and not with your Ex. In other words by building self confidence you will stop missing your Ex simply because the only reason you need them back is to feel more confident.

Of course self confidence is just one need and you be missing your Ex for totally different reasons. The good news is that the approach to recovery is always the same. Just find out the needs your Ex used to help you satisfy then work on satifying those needs in a different way.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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