How to understand someone on a deep level

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to understand someone on a deep level

Today most people make superficial judgments about others. Some people go even farther by judging others based on one single situation. The biggest mistake those people do is that they consider human beings simple organisms that can be understood in few seconds while in fact understanding someone on a deep level requires a completely different mindset.

The first thing you need to do to understand someone deeply is to eliminate all kind of prejudges, superficial judgments and all other premature conclusions made about that person.

In this article i will tell you how to understand someone on a deep level.

How to understand people

There are few rules that can help you get a better understanding of people which are:

  • Behind every action is a positive intention: That man who is a drunkard is not doing so because he is happy that way but he is doing it because there is a deep drive that is motivating him to do so. He might be escaping from his problems or protecting his self worth by avoiding certain responsibilities
  • To understand someone you must See the full picture: That's the extension of point number one, if behind every action is a positive intention or a certain drive then you must never judge people unless you get to know more about the full picture. A friend once told me that he has got problems concentrating on his studies, instead of giving him advice right away i started asking him other questions in order to be able to see the complete picture. Sometimes people lack concentration because their subconscious mind wants to protect them from testing their abilities (if they concentrated and took an exam then did bad they will feel worthless). After all the person can still blame his lack of concentration when he gets bad grades and feel better than if he blamed his abilities. How would have i knew these deep facts if i didn't try to see the full picture first?
  • Boring people are OK, exciting people have very strong drives: The boring person who does nothing interesting might be the most mentally stable person. Exciting people on the other hand like brilliant ones, geniuses or extremely successful people are usually the ones who have very strong psychological drives that sent them there. For example inferiority can be a very strong drive that leads to overcompensation and thus to great success stories. In the Solid Self confidence program i pointed out that if you understood people on a deeper level you wont feel inferior to them nor you will find that anyone is superior to you even if they were celebrities or authority figures.
  • Connect the dots Long ago i used to think of a personality as a collection of many unrelated parts but as i went deeper into psychology i discovered that the personality is formed of one super structure and each personality trait is just a branch that is strongly connected to that main structure. For example a tomboy, or a girl who likes to act like boys might be doing so because she was mistakenly taught that females are inferior to males. As a result she might prefer black dresses because they give her a sense of power over her perceived weakness. This might also let her develop homosexual behavior in order to prevent any man from dominating her and thus proving her fears of being weak true. Of course that's just an example to show you how everything about a person's personality is usually strongly interconnected

Final words about understanding someone

You won't understand someone on a deep level before you learn more about psychology and luckily all the information you need can be found here.

The second thing you must do is to try to connect the dots in order to get an idea of the superstructure forming that person's personality. Once you reach that super structure connecting all other elements to it will be an easy task.

Finally, don't judge people quickly because certainly that would lead to incorrect conclusions.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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