I am not me anymore

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I am not me anymore

Ever felt that you are not you anymore?
Ever realized that you became more bad tempered?
Ever realized that you became more negative than before?
Ever felt that you became someone else?

Usually these feelings are experienced by a person when he finds himself experiencing big negative changes in his emotions, thoughts and attitude. The guy who was always calm then suddenly found himself bad tempered will feel that he is not being himself anymore, the man who always believed that he is strong will feel the same when he finds himself becoming weak and so on.

So what are the factors that can change a person that way or that can make a person believe that he changed to the worse?

There are two main factors that result in such feelings. The first is a change in emotions that lasts for a long period of time and the second is a change in beliefs.

How your emotions can change you

Lets suppose that you valued freedom then started a new job that forced you to commit to a very punctual schedule, in such a case the feelings you will get are going to be unpleasant. As these feelings remain you will get used to them to the extent that they will become a part of you.

In other words the frustration you experience everyday will become a part of the new you since you. And this is the first point where you will start realizing that you are not being you. (see How your emotions change your perception of the world)

If you were an alpha male then worked for a bossy boss then most probably you will hate your job then few month later you will hate your life because of believing that you changed and became someone else.

Studies have found that the things you do everyday strongly affect your mood on the short term and this in turn affects the way you see yourself on the long term. If you spent two years of your life feeling miserable then you might end up believing that you became a miserable person.

How your beliefs can change your perception of yourself

After getting exposed to a bad emotion for a long period of time you might start believing that this emotion is a part of your personality.

And this is the second point where you might think that you have changed a lot and that you are not the old you anymore. The problem with belief change is that it can leave you with your new ideas about yourself even after you stop doing the things that resulted in this change.

So what's the soloution to this problem?
Quitting your job or changing your life style all of a sudden might be anything but wise that's why you need a long term plan to make these changes to your life.

You should move from a job that makes you feel that way to a job that helps you realize your true potential. You should change your habits slowly until you revert back to the ones that make you feel that you are being you.

As for the beliefs you formed they will weaken on their own when you change your life the way described above.

You might think that this is too much effort but when you compare the benefits you will get to the effort you will make you will find that this plan is worth applying.

If you believe that you are not you anymore then its time to make serious changes to your life.

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