Should you be with someone who is confused about the relationship

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The problem with most people

So many people don't know what they really want in life.
So many people don't have enough discipline to hold themselves back when they are not fully convinced.
So many people get emotional and get into relationships they don't really want.
So many love addicts get in the first relationship they encounter.

This might seem like a normal thing that can't cause problems but if you looked deeper you will realize that any relationship that involves confusion is very risky.

After the emotions fade away most of those people realize that they are in relationships they didn't really want. And so the following might happen as a result:

  • 1) Those people disappear all of a sudden
  • 2) Those people start cheating
  • 3) Those people breakup all of a sudden
  • 4) Those people become unhappy and this poisons the relationship
  • 5) Those people stop loving you

In other words. the ultimate destination for a relationship that was built on confusion is either a breakup or dissatisfaction.

Can a person be confused then love someone later on?

Yes it can happen of course. But why would you try to keep begging someone to love you more where as you can be with someone who loves you without doing any effort?

In addition to that, trying to convince someone to love you more might be a risky business. If for example that person doesn't like you because you don't match his unconscious love map then sooner or later he will dump you when he finds a better match.

In other words, there is a great risk involved in trying to be with someone who is confused about the relationship. Of course in some cases this confusion might not be related to you at all.

If for example the person was confused because he is a commitment phoebe then it might be OK to continue with him. The real problem happens when the person is confused because he doesn't really know whether you are good for him or not.

It would be a wise move to try to understand the main reason behind that person's confusion but if you failed to understand it then know that you are taking a big risk and that this relationship might end anytime.

When you truly want something you won't be confused

Let's suppose you like sportcars and had to choose between two sedan cars, a Nissan and a Toyota. Most probably you will be a bit confused because you aren't really sure which one is better.

Now what if you were asked to choose between a Toyota corolla and a Ferrari?
Will you ever be confused?
Of course not because you know that a Ferrari is much better.

The same exactly goes for relationships. We get confused when all the options we have aren't really that good. And so if someone is confused about being with you then it might not be a good idea to be with them.
Yes in some rare cases a confused person can end up loving you but why take the risk?

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