How to affect people using words

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to affect people

You know how they say it’s not what you say it’s how you say it, when it comes to affecting people nothing can be truer. What you say certain words in a certain way you force the people listening to you to access certain areas in their brains.

By choosing the right words and saying them in a certain way you can let people recall certain events, think of certain thoughts and feel certain emotions. In this article I will show you how to influence and affect people with what you’re saying.

Induce emotions before you say what is important

The secret to inducing emotions is through the power of a ‘pause’. Nothing gives more power and emphasis to what you’re saying than pausing for a second before you say it.

Let me give you an example that you can play out in your head as you’re reading.
Imagine the difference in the following sentence when you say it with and without a pause. In order to imagine what I am writing, read the first sentence with a normal pace, and when reading the second sentence pause when you see the dots.

I know I can rely on you.
I know…I can rely on you.

Or consider the next sentence.

Oh yeah, can you?
Oh yeah,… can you?

Pausing gives the listener a feeling that you’re about to say something powerful. So don’t use it before you say the sentence, use it right before the part you want to affect them with within your sentence. (see also How to use words to motivate people)

If you watch anyone speaking that has an effect on people, you will undeniably find them using a pause. Listen to a couple of speeches that have affected people, like maybe certain presidential speeches, and watch how their pauses induced powerful emotions. (see also Where do emotions come from)

Use the tone of your voice to sound the way you like

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that one of the factors that affect the way people judge your self confidence is the tone of your voice.

As a general rule, if you go with your tone down a bit you sound more confident, and if you go up a bit your sound induces emotions. Notice how I said a bit because really down from what you normally sound like sounds fake and silly, and much higher sounds dramatic… and silly.

OK so when do you use both exactly. Again you don’t want the whole sentence to be down, unless it needs it. Let’s say you need to show someone that you can do something. Let’s say you’re going to say “I know I can do it” and sound very convincing as you say it. You need to have “I know” said with emotions because it has belief in it, and “I can do it” said with confidence.

So in order to put it together for you I will use Italics for emotions and caps for confidence. “I know… I CAN DO IT” (I am not shouting, we agreed that caps were for going down with your tone)

Notice how I used pause as well.
Now this is a sentence that could affect people much more than the regular I know I can do it even with emotions in it. (see also How can a leader influence others)

If it seems like many things to practice together, remember when you were learning to drive. It seemed like so much to learn all at once but now you drive without even thinking about it, unconsciously. This is exactly the same, practice enough and you will speak it and use it when you need it unconsciously.

Remove resistance first

No matter what you say, or how convincing you are, if you don’t remove resistance first your efforts won’t be listened to.

So to make sure we remove resistance, you have to show the other people that you have listened to them and that you fully understand their point. (see 10 ways to boost your communication skills)

Another thing you should do in order to be more effective and affect people is being logical. Answering for the sake of just having a reply is like aiming without a target. It isn’t just totally useless; it is also making you lose the attention of the person you want to affect.

So acknowledge the sense that the other person is making, and use your mental effort to show them the other point of view that he/she is missing.

2knowmyself is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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