10 ways to boost your communication skills

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The different kinds of people

Whether you want it or not you will come across bullies, mean people and sarcastic ones while dealing with people. Good communication skills is not just about learning how to get over your shyness or to talk to strangers but its also about learning how to deal with all kinds of people without allowing anyone to bother you or to violate your rights.

During the first encounter with a new group of people it might be very hard to single out mean ones before one of them starts talking and that's why the best thing you can do to yourself is to be prepared to deal with those people even before you meet them. (see also How to identify haters and mean people)

In this post i will tell you about some tips that will help you avoid making all the common mistakes people make when they get to meet new people.

10 ways to boost your communication skills

  • 1) Be a bit mysterious: Even if you were asked some questions about yourself be a bit mysterious so that you make people curious to know more about you. When you appear to be mysterious people will start to think about you even more and they will become more interested in you
  • 2) If you got attacked in front of a group reply immediately: Bullies don't enjoy bullying to the extreme if no one was watching and that's why they usually pick a situation where they can make fun of you in front of everybody. If a bully verbally attacked you in front of a group then reply assertively and right away. By doing so you won't only stop him but you will send a clear message to all other bullies and mean people telling them that you are not the prey they are looking for (see also How to deal with people who make fun of you)
  • 3) Don't make fun of yourself: Many people try to appear friendly by telling jokes and while this tip works for sure it can still have the opposite effect if you started making fun of yourself just to make others laugh. By pointing out your weak points you are actually exposing yourself to bullies and mean ones. (see also Dealing with mean people)
  • 4) Control your urge to speak: Sometimes you might feel like eagerly wanting to say something to the extent that you might interrupt someone and appear desperate. When you appear to be too needy some people will automatically be turned off in no time.
  • 5) Don't ask so many questions: If you have so many questions that are unrelated to the people you just met (example, what time is it now, when are we gonna eat..etc) then save them for a close friend as most new people will get annoyed if you kept asking questions that aren't related to them (see also Why do people find me annoying)
  • 6) Don't shake hands if you are not sure: If you aren't sure whether a group of people are friendly or not then don't shake hands but instead just greet them all without using your hands. Some mean people will regard the hand shake as an attempt to get close to them and as a result they will repel you back because of their desire to control others (see also The psychology of control freaks)
  • 7) Don't say too much information: "Oh my God, this shoe i am wearing is so tight" Is one example of a phrase that contains useless information except for you. Mean and sarcastic people will usually attack you right away as soon as you say any of these phrases. Find out the topics that interest the people you just met and avoid releasing personal facts without being asked (see also Why do we find certain topics interesting)
  • 8) Don't joke too much: If you like to laugh that's a good thing but if you joked too much some people will start disrespecting you as they might believe that you are an airhead or a person who is too friendly to reply back to bullying. Just pick the right time and joke whenever the situation seems suitable (see also Why do i have problems making friends)
  • 9)Don't be negative: People dislike those who make them feel bad and like those who make them feel good. Some negative comments that might be too subtle to be noticed by you can actually put people in a bad mood. "Its too hot in here", "i don't think we will make it on time" and many other similar phrases can put people in a negative mood and as a result they will associate that negative mood with your presence.
  • 10) Single out mean people and be prepared: A mean person might attack someone else before attacking you. In such a case don't feel happy that you escaped the attack but put in mind that you might be next. As soon as you start doubting that someone is mean be prepared to reply back to him at any second in case he decided to attack you. (see How to win a verbal fight)

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