how to help someone feel better when they are sad

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to help someone feel better

This article is considered part three of the articles how to make people feel good and how to make people feel better

In this series i tell people how can they help a friend or someone in need if he was feeling bad. The tips i give in this series are some of the real ones i use when i coach people.

In this article i will continue telling you how to make someone feel better.

Tips to make someone feel better

Usually venting is one of the methods that can help people feel better but do you know that sometimes venting to the wrong people can increase the intensity of bad emotions? (see my article when venting goes wrong)

If you want to help someone feel better then must stick to the following tips in addition to the ones present in part 1 and 2 of this series:

  • Don't assume that he is right!!: Lots of people make the mistake of giving advice to their friends right away after they hear their problems but what if the problems weren't real? What if your friend told you that his friends hate him while in fact he only felt that because he lacked self confidence? you shouldn't assume that the stories the person is telling you is correct before he provides solid proofs.
  • Find his keys and guide him to them: our emotions keep changing all the time and sometimes our emotional state can change in a matter of few seconds after coming across one of the keys of change, this key might be a piece of music, a certain memory, a "what if" question, a dream ....etc. If you want to make someone feel better then you should work on finding his keys and then presenting them to him, this will change his emotional state in no time (see also controlling mood swings)
  • Why isn't the button working: Motivational advice will never work if the person had a strong opposing belief in his mind. You should first try to motivate the person and to help him feel good by logical arguments and as soon as you find him completely hopeless start asking questions so that you find out the beliefs that limit his potential. After you find them you can help him get rid of them using this guide
  • Make me believe Lots of people do the mistake of using words such as "believe me", "i swear i am right" or "just trust me" while trying to make someone feel better but in fact the subconscious mind of the other person wont become convinced before solid proofs are provided. In the Solid Self confidence program i explained how you can never increase someone's self confidence before providing him with solid proofs that shows that he is worthy. Instead of telling your friend "believe me" give examples using real stories to make him believe you.
  • Find the root cause of the problem: In many cases the root cause of a certain problem might not be very obvious. As you speak with that person and help him explore his feelings you might reach together the right root cause. Once that root cause is found you can both work on a plan to deal with it
  • Don't give advice before listening: One of the mistakes many people do when trying to make someone feel better is giving advice quickly before listening to the person's point of view. Know that to help a person you need to say things that match his beliefs and perception of the world else your advice won't work. See also How to coach people
  • Allow the person to vent: Sometimes listening to a person can make him feel better even if you did nothing else. Venting is one form of expressive therapy and many people can actually feel better just by finding someone to listen to them. See also Writing therapy

Final note about making people feel better

Make sure you read the other parts of the series so that you don't make one of the common mistakes people do and end up making your friend feel bad instead of making him feel good.

you don't have to heal your friend completely but if you managed to at least reduce his pain a bit then you have done a great job.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

How to help someone who broke up

How to change someone's behavior

How to understand people better

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)






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