How to recover from life shocks and stand up again

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Got shocked?

Were you fired?
Was your application rejected?
Did they refuse your admission to the college you always dreamed of joining?
Did something really bad happen?

These moments are very common in our lives. I am sure that you have faced at least one situation where you got shocked by bad news and believed that you were done for. (see also Dealing with medical bad news)

When people face such moments they usually try to resist but the problem is that resisting the wrong way can actually cause more damage to their psychological states. Just like swimming against the current can exhaust you and let you drawn resisting life shocks the wrong way can halt your progress and even make you more depressed.

In this post i will tell you how to deal with such shocks the right way so that you stand up again quickly.

The right way to absorb the shock

The biggest mistake people make when they get a reality shock is that they quickly try to do positive things or listen to positive talks in order to feel better but this usually backfires.

As soon as the shock happens your subconscious mind believes that you lost everything, that there is no way out and that there is no hope. Now with such a belief system the introduction of any positive talk seems far away from reality and as a result these words have the opposite effect on you.

The right thing you should do in such a case is to wait for a day or two until you adsorb the shock completely before you start to fight back. The reason this works is that within few days your belief system starts to recover from these temporary negative beliefs that invaded it and so your mind becomes more receptive to positive ideas.

Imagine trying to push a car that is going down a hill upwards. Wouldn't it be much easier to wait for the car to settle down then start pushing it up?

Make sure acceptance happens as quick as you can

In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that one of the things that prevents people from recovering from breakups is having little hope. Acceptance cannot happen as long as there is hope and so in order to accept something you need to admit that you lost it.

Imagine how you would feel if they told you that there is a 1% chance that they will hire you once again in the next 2 weeks after you got fired. Most probably you will feel really bad until you make sure that you were fired for good.

Contrary to common beliefs a 1% hope causes tremendous pain and prevents recovery. Its only when you discover that you were fired for good that your mind will start to accept what happened. (see also How to get over a painful loss)

Your goal should be making sure this acceptance phase happens as soon as possible. And after it does allow yourself few more days to absorb the shock.

Stand up again

The good thing about our state of feeling is that it can be affected by things that are not present with us in the moment. For example, you could be feeling bad because of something that happened 2 years ago or because you are worried about something that is yet to happen.

Now when you write a plan for the future in order to fix what happened your mind will start to make you feel better even if nothing has actually changed. As i said earlier in my article about indifference a plan will never change your mood unless it sounds realistic enough to your subconscious mind.

Now with each tiny step you take to follow the plan your mood will improve a bit until you will end up feeling stronger than before.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Want to know more?

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How to deal with a reality shock

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