what to do when you are confused about a relationship

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do many people get confused about their relationships

So you are not sure whether to go for the relationship or not.
I have good news for you. There are so many practical things you can do in order to find out exactly the right decision.

The first thing is asking yourself , honestly, what do you really want.
Imagine that you became so attractive that you can attract any person in the world to you.

Whom will you choose?
What qualities are you gonna look for?
What is the kind of person you will want to be with?

Those questions might seem easy in the first instance but let me tell you that 90% of people answer them incorrectly. Here is why:

  • 1 - Fear of not finding someone better
  • 2- They can't survive alone for long periods of time
  • 3- They are afraid that time might run out before finding someone
  • 4- they hate being single
  • 5- They have low self esteem and so they go for what they can get not what they want
  • 6- They follow their emotions but can't really tell what they want
  • 7- They want to get into a relationship as fast as they can. See love addiction signs

Those were only some of the reasons why people choose the ones they don't really want. There are tens of reasons but i just wanted to show you a sample and let you guess the rest.

Know your Love map

If you managed to get over those forces successfuly then congratulations for you are more than halfway through to making the right decision. Next you need to figure out the elements in your love map.

The love map , as i said earlier, is the list of the unconscious items your mind looks for whenever you meet a potential partner. Now here is the problem with the list: it's usually unconscious. In other words most people don't have any idea why they get attracted to some people and not others. See Physical attraction psychology.

The result of not knowing what to do is following their emotions which can sometimes lead them to making serious mistakes. You need to give yourself some time to find the items in your love map before you can take any decision.

Compare your love map to that person

This can be a bit hard for some people because it involves a lot of self discipline. In this step you will need to put your emotions aside and make a decision based on logic. If the person matches most of the items in your love map then you are taking the right decision.

If the person doesn't match some of the very important items in your love map then most probably you are doing a mistake. You might think that the decision is right because you have some emotions towards that person but the fact that always happens is that those emotions fade away after some time.

In other words when you make your choice based on your emotions alone the possibility of making the wrong choice will be increased dramatically.

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2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it's a boring online encyclopedia but it's a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Want to know more?

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