Why it is hard for some people to stay single

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Is it hard for all people?

Some people don't seem to have any problems staying single for long periods of time. Yes those people sometimes do feel like they need a partner but generally they are living happy lives and they rarely think about the fact that they are single.

Some people on the other hand can't stay single for few weeks if not days. Those people sometimes even get into wrong rebound relationships just because they can't stay alone for sometime.

The first thing you have to understand about the ability to stay single is that it's a normal ability that any normal person would have. A typical normal person usually won't have any problems staying single unless his thoughts or beliefs change.

So why do some people have a hard time staying single?

There are so many reasons but i am just going to point out the most important ones.

  • 1) They are love addicts: Love addicts are the ones who use love to escape from their problems and to reduce the emotional pain they are experiencing. Love addicts have messed up moods and lives and so they use love to help themselves feel better (See 5 signs you are a love addict).
  • 2) They are very needy: In my book How to get over anyone in few days i explained how unmet needs that aren't properly satisfied can make the person always in need to be in a relationship. Yes it's normal to have many of those needs but it's not normal to have a hard time being single because you have them
  • 3) False beliefs about relationships: People who have false beliefs about relationships are the ones who suffer the most in their lives. Some people think that a relationship is the soloution to all of their problems. Those people usually get disappointed when they are in a relationship and get depressed when they are single (See 7 reasons why it's sometimes better to be single)
  • 4) Concerns about time: Time is one factor that prevents so many people from feeling happy being single. Many people think that because time is running out they might feel to find the right person in a timely manner. As a person gets older those feelings might become stronger (See also 10 signs you are marrying the wrong person)
  • 5) Peer pressure: Under the effect of peer pressure many people start having problems being single. Those people either get into relationships because all of their friends did or because they don't want to seem odd (See how peer pressure can ruin your life

There is a problem somewhere in your life

I could have given more examples but in the end the conclusion would have been the same. Some people fail to stay single because they suffer from some kind of a problem with their way of thinking or with their life.

Yes it's a great thing to get into a relationship but if the main motivate was running away from problems, ending pain or killing loneliness then certainly the wrong choice is going to be made.

You should only get into a relationship when you believe you found the right person and not when you can't tolerate being alone (see also Why some people always make the wrong relationship choice).

Find the issue that is making your single life so hard and fix it so that you prevent it from letting you make a wrong choice that you regret later.

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