Why do i get attracted to cheaters

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do i get attracted to cheaters

Do you only get attracted to cheaters?
Do you always find the person you are with cheating on you?
Yes it might be a coincidence. But it might also mean that something wrong is going on.

If it happened once or twice that you found yourself in a relationship with a cheater then the possibility of it happening because of a coincidence is still high. If however you always end up with cheaters then there might be something more deep going on than just a coincidence.

Consciously knowing a person is a cheater

If you already know that the person you are pursuing sometimes cheats then this means that a part of you wants to be with a cheater to fulfill a certain psychological need. Many people, especially women, try to go for players and cheaters in order to tame them and get a self esteem boost, See Why players are mentally unstable.

The problem here is that the main drive behind the relationship is elevating the self esteem, See why do i only attract married men. When the desire to be in a relationship is fueled by the desire to gain more self esteem then the relationship is doomed to fail.

First of all you don't really want that person but you just want a self esteem boost. Secondly, sooner or later you will realize that and feel bad about it.

Many people try to be with players in order to tame them and feel good about themselves but this strategy usually backfires. In most cases those players don't change and those people end up with a lower self esteem.

Discovering that someone is a cheater

Do you date normal people then discover that they are cheaters later on?
In fact, this might actually be planned.

Your subconscious mind can be looking for certain traits and signals that are not related to cheating but that ultimately leads to cheating. Your mind for example might be looking for people who are a bit dishonest and unethical.

You might wonder why your mind might want to do so. The answer is simple. Just like you have conscious goals there are also some important unconscious goals that your mind might be trying to reach.

Here is a little example. Your subconscious mind might be wanting to prove to you that all men are cheaters. In such a case it will look for signs that show that a person might be a potential cheater then will get you attracted to that person.

There is a problem with your love map

The love map is the list that determines the type of person you will get attracted to. Some items of this love map might be consciously known to you while many other items might be buried in your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind might be looking for certain traits and qualities that increase the chance of a person being a cheater. In such a case you might not want to be around a cheater but its just the fact that your love map matches the mentality of cheaters more.

If for example you don't like conservative people then you might be looking for more open minded people. This might increase the chance of coming across a cheater. This doesn't mean that open minded people cheat but it just means that when certain traits are combined , usually more than one, they usually make a person more likely to cheat.

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