Why cant i find happiness

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why cant i find happiness

I Always get messages from people who tell me that they can't find happiness and that they are still searching for it.

Asking the question why can't i find happiness? is exactly the same as asking something like "where can i find money?"!!!

Money is not found but its earned, after all you won't come across a bag that has 1 million dollars while walking in the street But you have to learn new skills, find a job, start a business and work hard until you earn money.

The same exactly goes for happiness, which cannot be found but can be earned after you take the right actions.

So why do people think that happiness can be found?

People want quick fixes, they just want to find happiness somewhere in their room, in the street or in a treasure box instead of fighting for it.

The reason many quick fixes such as positive affirmations never manage to make a sad person happy is that they are useless shortcuts that people who don't want to do real effort use in order to escape from the real responsibility.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how research has shown that using positive affirmations that contradict with your real feelings can have a negative effect on the mood because of the deception felt by the subconscious mind. Try repeating "i am happy" or "i found happiness" many times while you are feeling really down and see if that will do you any good.

I don't blame people for running after quick fixes because the media have programmed their minds through movies by showing them numerous examples of people who found happiness overnight but sadly that has nothing to do with real life.

So how happiness can be found?

So the important question is how can happiness be found??
The first step to becoming really happy is to understand why you are feeling sad. Lets suppose that you discovered that you are sad because you don't have a job and were always worried about the future.

In this case finding happiness is all about finding the job you want. Again this can't happen overnight because you will need to search hard, fail a couple of times, learn new skills and be persistent until you find one.

Of course real life is not as simple as this example, usually you will find yourself feeling sad because of more than one different reason and finding happiness in this case is all about dealing with each of these reasons one by one.

If you were unhappy because you are always fighting with your wife, because your life is so stressful, because you lack self confidence and because you have no job then finding happiness requires dealing with each of these factors.

Happiness can be found when you solve your problems

Here is exactly how you can find happiness:

  • List your problems one by one: List all of your problems one by one so that you understand the reasons behind your sadness
  • Start planning: Create a plan that helps you reach all the goals that would help you solve your problems. For example building self confidence, learning new skills and learning to control stress can be among your goals
  • Gradual mood improvement: You don't have to reach the finish line in order to find happiness because as soon as you start perusing these goals your mood will improve and whenever you reach one of them you will feel better

Don't sleep all day, set no plans, do nothing then wake up each morning wondering where happiness can be found because you will never find it that way.

Happiness is not found my friend but its earned after you fix the problems that are responsible for your sadness.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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