To Know My Enemy, Part II

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Subconscious Wounds

Everyone doesn’t like his company because of his sarcastic way in expressing his opinion.

Everybody avoids him not to get a burst of his anger or to get hurt by his words. This is the opinion people have about him.

But when we look inside his mind we aren’t going to find that evil person people talk about but instead we will find a wounded and a helpless person.

Long ago he started a relationship with a girl but things ended up so fast and he was dumped by her. But this was not everything, almost 2 months later he received a rejection letter from the company he wished to work for.

And since then, he started to be sarcastic, became bad tempered and unfriendly. Something was always troubling him and making him feel bad which was the feeling of being defeated. Although he never felt it consciously his subconscious mind was crying in pain.

What’s Bothering Him

Like most people do this guy never faced himself with the truth and he just kept shouting and screaming at everyone around him.

He thought that by doing so he would be releasing some of the pain he held inside him But this is not how pain can be released.

His pain will only go when he directs his anger towards finding a new job and starting a new healthy relationship and that won’t happen before he decides to face the truth.

He will only be able to get out of this pain when he determines his real enemy and not when he directs his anger towards the innocent people around him. This man needs one thing in order to control his life and to relief his pain, he needs to know his enemy then direct his anger towards it.

He didn’t become broken because he loved her but he felt so because he had a self confidence problem as he thought that being dumped meant that he is not that attractive.
He didn’t become depressed because he lost the job but because he felt that his skills would lead him to nowhere and that he was a loser.

Know Your Enemy

What about You? How many times have you treated someone badly because you were already feeling bad?
How many times have you shouted at other car drivers because your boss shouted at you that day?
How many times have you taken drugs just to escape from your emotional pain?
How many times have you been sarcastic because you were already feeling bad?

In all of these cases your bad behavior was not a result of meeting those people nor because of becoming mad of their attitude but it was the result of having other enemies that you are afraid to face.

In all of these cases you were fighting the wrong enemies and that’s why your pain persisted and that’s why it didn’t go. Because you were fighting someone who didn’t mean to harm you while leaving the real enemy hitting you at your back.

Declare the War on your true enemy

Get a piece of paper now and write down everything that is bothering you. Trace your pain to the root and you will find the real reasons behind them, these real reasons are going to be your enemies.

As for the man in the story above his enemies were lack of self confidence and lack of life skills. He should declare a war by reading as much as he can about self confidence, by attending courses and seminars , by buying CDs and watching videos about self confidence.

He should declare a war by learning additional soft skills, by sacrificing one or two of his weekends to learn a new skill or by sacrificing one or two hours of sleep in order to read more about communication skills.

Only then his bad emotions will go away and only then happiness will visit him again. Don’t waste your energy and your efforts fighting wrong enemies because unless you fight your real enemies your pain wont go away. Know your Enemies and declare a war against them by taking actions.

The Enemy Within

Sometimes the real enemy is not found anywhere in the external world but its found inside you.

Lack of self understanding, lack of self confidence and irrational fears are all examples of enemies that lie within you.

In this case doing something other than understanding your own self will not help in removing the pain. You should be optimistic because you will find in 2knowmyself all the information needed to give you this solid self understanding that will let you conquer the enemy within.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

Declared War Yet?

I want to see part one of this article

No,i don't really know how to fight these things

No, sometimes i really feel like wanting to scream

I want to read Part III of this article

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