How to recover from child abuse

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to recover from child abuse

What is the best way to recover from child abuse?
Is it sharing your feelings with a close person that you trust?
Is it joining a support group?
Or is it forgetting about what happened?

While some of these methods can really help some people feel better still none of them holds the final soloution to the abuse problem. People who were physically or emotionally abused see the world from a different angle and as a result they are much more likley to feel anxious and depressed.

And because of that same reason those people are much more likley to abuse drugs or to get involved in any dangerous activity that allows them to numb their emotions.

So how can a person recover from child abuse?

Understanding the abuser is an important step in recovery

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that many of the psychological disorders people suffer from leave marks on their self esteem.

One of the main reasons people who were abused find it hard to recover is that they believe that something is wrong with them. According to their point of view if they were good enough they might not have not been abused that way.

Lets suppose that you were neglected or beaten. Most probably you think that something is wrong with you. But what if you realized that the person who neglected you had serious psychological problems?

What if you realized that the person who bullied you used to get beaten severely each day by his parents? What if you discovered that the sarcastic person who used to put you down was suffering from extremely low self esteem and was just doing so in order to feel good about himself?

In other words, when you understand abusers you will get to realize that they are the ones who need treatment and that there is nothing wrong with you.

All abusers, without exceptions, are people who suffer from serious psychological disorders that force them to act this way and this means that you are not the one who should be blamed.

Understand that your perception is severely distorted

Why does child abuse affect a person in adulthood?
If a person was abused by his parents then they passed away why do that person continue to suffer?

This happens because victims of child abuse keep seeing their past everyday. Any person who looks, behaves like the abuser or even shares a single trait with him can remind the victim of his bad experience. (see How childhood experiences affect adulthood)

The problem with these warning signs is that in most cases they aren't accurate. Some people feel insecure as soon as they encounter a person who resembles the one who abused them even if that person was totally harmless. (see also How your emotions affect your perception)

In other words sufferers of child abuse always feel insecure because of the continues firing of false alarms. If you want to recover from child abuse then you must understand that your perception is being severely distorted and that the people you find dangerous might actually be harmless. (see also How incorrect perception affects self confidence)

Courage is the trait you need to recover

Why is courage one of the most important traits needed for recovery from child abuse?
Its because many sufferers start avoid the people who resemble their abusers and as a result their wounds never get treated.

For example the girl who was raised by a distant father might decide to avoid men all together just not to get hurt again. By doing so she only strengths the wound and makes it last longer.

If you want to recover from child abuse then you must be brave enough to experience life without avoiding your fears but this time you must use the new skills you learned and make sure that you fix the perception errors your mind makes.

Recovery doesn't take a day or two, its not easy but it can be done. Good luck.

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